Tag Archives: musings

In all fairness

9 Apr
In all fairness, unfairness sucks.

This is really pushing my buttons. I think I was raised that way, being a twin. During childhood, the master word at home always was ‘equity’. I became highly sensitive to unfairness, yet my twin brother seemingly didn’t.

Years after years of being a grown-up and living in the real life, I’ve softened, but only by a fraction. Unfairness affects me far more than I wish it would, in my personal life and to a lesser degree in my professional life.

Because I don’t do well with confrontations, I reason a lot with myself, in pursuit of the right balance between an unfortunate situation and the bright side I can hold on to. For the greater good, or out of cowardice, I yield, hoping I can keep up with the choice I made, and hoping the effort is acknowledged. But too much unfairness, I can’t cope with ; there is just so much I can take. Sometimes I burst and the balance is broken.

Practices become habits, or systematic reactions start creeping into my everyday life, shaping an uncomfortable order. To avoid this, and preserve the balance, I try as much as possible to give hints or warnings that a situation is not ideal for me and that the balance is in jeopardy. But what is a significant effort or concession from me, is not necessarily reciprocated and my hints are ineffective. The value –or cost– of the status-quo is hardly ever the same for the involved parties.

Fortunately, it doesn’t happen frequently. Unfortunately, it’s distressing and overwhelming when it happens.

I saw Eve today

2 Feb
I saw Eve today. After all these years. I saw her only briefly, in passing, enough that she flashed her luminous, genuine smile. She’s still so beautiful, of course. If I were a man, I’d be in love with Eve.

She is smart and friendly, elegant, at ease in every circumstance, she’s successful and she smiles all the time. She has an incredible presence. Wherever she is, people seem connected to her, basking in her charisma, breathing and speaking according to her. And wherever she was, people wonder where the magic has gone, not unhappy, just back from a reality which was different, almost dream-like.

%d bloggers like this: