Dream: my jellyfish iPhone


I had the silliest dream last night.

Puzzled Memoji

My iPhone had three new pages of app icons which were in fact photos from my camera roll. I had no idea this was possible and I was baffled how these had ended up there.

I was in my office, but instead of a floor, I was wading knee-hight through the Mediterranean sea, near the shore. Actually, I was standing between my desk and the shore. The configuration of my office was exactly as I know it, except there were no walls, no roof, no floor. Just the sea of shallow waters beneath me, and the beach unseen behind me.

My iPhone was huge. The size of six or nine iPads stitched together, and it was floating on the surface of the water. But it was normal. Everything seemed normal to me, then.

A breakthrough occurred: I had just realised that selecting several of my photos was what had turned them into the app shortcuts on the iPhone screen. Several pages of those. I just needed to undo that. But long-press on them did not remove them.

When I long-pressed, instead of jiggling the icons, the iPhone produced… a sunny-side-up egg with a side of bacon.

That’s not all.

The egg white had text written on it, but insufficient contrast, so I couldn’t read it.

That was very frustrating. Also, the ebb and flow made it hard for the egg-and-bacon to not jiggle on its own. And while the giant floating iPhone was unaffected by the wavelets, the egg-and-bacon quickly started to sink.

So I kept long-pressing the humongous floating iPhone, and it kept producing sunny side-up eggs and bacon, with insufficient text contrast, which kept sinking. No matter how hard I squinted, all I could make of the text were several undecipherable grey lines.

I woke up just as the iPhone had started to produce jelly and peanut butter sample containers in addition to more of the sunny-side-up egg and bacon. Upon waking, I was wondering how many more ingredients the iPhone had “in it”, and how the heck I was going to get rid of the photos turned into icons on the iPhone screens. The photos were not even great. I guess I’ll never know!

That’s it. That’s the dream.


I was neither hungry when I woke up, nor had I eaten breakfast before going to Zzzleep. I don’t know that you can turn camera roll photos into screen shortcuts either.

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