My friend Alexandre pointed me to an article by Uncle Bob, There are ladies present, in which I had a language-related epiphany:
[…] there was an f-bomb in every sentence. It was effing this and effing that and what the ef here and there and everywhere. […]
Until that time, it had never occurred to me that the adjective ‘effing’ took its origin from the f-word, ‘fucking’. But now that I do, it makes sense completely.
I may even use it, now that I understand –and own it, in a way. That will add an extra middle-strength layer to how I convey a feeling or state of mind, still keeping the f-word as last resort.
By the way, Uncle Bob’s article is one that I recommend; he shares how women in tech have thus far lived in perpetual inconsequence, mostly having no status, no respect, and no voice in their world.